We all need a direction

fight-through-it asked: heyy there.

you are?

Well deep down inside i used to wonder what exactly separates love from crushes, infatuation and like! I’m sure most of us think we know the answer but sadly, it’s either we know it but don’t practise it OR we really messed up the definitions.

After reading a book called ” I kissed dating goodbye”, i kinda got the rough idea of what love really is. Don’t be fooled by the title!

Simply.. The other types of feelings towards the other sex (unless you’re gay), only focuses on yourself. In case we don’t realise, when we feel for someone, we just like being with them and having that nice feeling in your heart. What else? We go out on dates to get to know them in order to satisfy ourselves for the day. Next, we kinda “create” our crush/ person we are interested in. We always talk about their good points but never seem to realise the bad. We call them “Angels sent from above”, “Prince Charming” or whatever cheesy names you’ve got. It’s not wrong.. just that, we don’t really know what our hearts are actually getting us into. Not that the other parties are always crooks, but well, we end up getting disappointed on how the other person isn’t as perfect as what we thought they were. Overall, from dates we “get to know them” and end up being a relationship which we call love.

Now, hold on a minute! Love isn’t just about the feeling, but it’s about accepting, giving, forgiving, responsibility and trusting. It’s not about making yourself feel good but making the other person feel good. Do you see the difference already? It is selfless not selfish. Most of the times, we get into relationships to satisfy each others “good feel” and ends it when the good feel fades. And we blame love for being nothing but mundane and cruel. The fact is that love is wonderful but apparently the sources of relationship most of the times derives from selfish origins. Bottomline: We want each other to spend time with each other. Basically, it’s like we are growing trees with poor soil and of course it fails (as expected)! If a relationship is selfish, what is the point of being together? The reason the word “together” is used in a relationship is because a relationship is 2 people with 1 cause. It becomes a synergy.

It takes maturity to accept that most of the relationships now have been built on selfish foundation where sex and feeling good has become the primary reasons. That’s not what it fully offers. It’s the feeling that it’s someone we can count on and live with when all odds are against us. The reason why love hurts is because we give our hearts to people who don’t have the responsibility to hold it AND/OR to even reciprocate. Doesn’t that explain the tragedy? I know it sucks when we admire someone but we get ignored! It happens! But let’s say.. even if you and your dream guy or girl got into a relationship, are your purpose the same? If it’s just to have fun together, everyone’s gonna end up in pain. Like it or not.. No matter how much of a playa you are, you WILL hurt one day. Because love is now meaningless.. So many factors play a part.. I’ll talk about just trust. When we say trust.. Do you trust someone who says he can make you a millionaire in a day if you give him 50k SGD? I’m sure EVERYONE feels that the answer is blatantly NO! I bet even if it’s Gurmit Singh, we will have high doubts. Unless, the person is like Donald Trump or what.

Why? It’s because first.. he has no qualifications! Secondly, you don’t know him! Third, the price to pay to be rich is expensive! Fourthly, it could be an empty promise. The list goes on and on… The main reason boils down to TRUST!

In this example, love is the same. But the outcome is different. We give our Expensive hearts (if 50k is not enough for your heart, let’s say priceless!) for something better(1 million in the example)! Mathematically, it does tally! The reasons are better! Or rather, at least you get returns! However, most often we get empty promises. How much qualification does that person have? I don’t mean in terms of academics but rather, how much has the person proved to be trustworthy. So when we trust the person who promises us to love us forever (forever is a big word) or even if they say 5 years, and if it is an empty promise, it’s like building a house on air. What happens next? It collapses. It may not be an empty promise back then, but if the promise was not solid and uncertain, the building would be built on shaky materials. Now what kind of house is that? More so, what kind of love is that?

Love is about finding someone you have feelings for, willing to give everything to, trust and accept that person for they are. That’s just pure love. Getting into a relationship is another step ahead. Don’t get me wrong. Love is not troublesome.. It’s just that crushes and everything is taking the easier way out with no insurance. We have been deluded from the beautiful things and i guess we should start to see things differently. I may have been enlightened but i guess love is a lifelong journey. Similar to wisedom, it is boundless but you can keep improving. That’s the beauty of it. I will strive to make love the best i’ll ever experience. For those who want a christian view on relationship, you can read the book itself. This is just the general abstract of it which i truly agree.

This one’s for you baby!

When we read this title, what is your intepretation of this? Does this mean i feel that life is never good enough in the pessimistic way or the optimistic way? My intepretation is that life is never good enough! In the sense that we can keep improving on it. Something phrased in a pessimistic way actually has something hopeful in it! Basically, it’s just how we look at things that determine what are we going to do!

In recent times, i’ve been closing in on my goals or rather i call it as my “Best of All Worlds”. I can say i’m fortunate however, i realised that getting it does not mean the end of everything. We end up finding more flaws in ourselves which hinders us from our dream goals. How do we bounce back from an all time low?

Again, our perspective will determine how successful we are going to be. I see my flaws as an opportunity to improve myself as a person. While many people decide to let themselves succumb to their flaws, i decide to stand up and make a choice.

Don’t you feel tired of letting yourself down? I am! But most importantly, give yourself the life you always wanted.

Another thing is that i will always be thankful for the people who have been supporting me all these while. Giving them back for the support they’ve given is another goal which is important.

For the important people in my life, i do thank everyone of you who’ve been there and helping me in everyway. I do realise that even the strong faces tough moments but responding is the difference between the weak and strong.

Yeah i’ve been missing in action for pretty long, but well at least i’m here,alive.These holidays i’ve been kinda bored so i decided to come back and kinda just rant and speak my mind here.

Limits are something we have always been mentioning in our lives but they are rarely accurate. We will never know our limits until we reach them and the cycle repeats everytime we get hurt. There will be a point where there’s just no limit whereby we get numb. It could probably be a time where your heart and your mind is in sync, but for the wrong reasons.

Hurt is just the final product of all bad emotions which we struggle to handle. It’s common! Be it pride, jealousy or whatsoever, it drives us to our limit. The point is how much can we tolerate?

What doesn’t kill us only makes us stronger. That’s something i strongly believe but at the same time, the process is nothing else but living hell. During this process when your heart is broken, there’s nothing else to break.

I guess it’s okay to get hurt but we just need to know is the pain worth it all. I remember reading some Bob Marley’s quote saying “The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.” 

More often than not, the people pushing your emotional threshold constantly are the people you love. That’s cause we let our guard down against them and we’re more vulnerable. I always tell myself that “Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never break me”. It’s really hard to uphold in my life especially when weapons in the form of words are just accidentally unleashed from the people you love. Resentment only adds to hurt which further destroys yourself and you continue to wallow in self-pity. If the people who hurt you are truly the ones you love, don’t you think it’s better to forgive? “An eye for an eye makes the world blind”. I’m trying to be a better person too.

On a separate note: “Don’t regret decisions that we’ve made”..

Decisions are merely choices of that point of time. Whatever it takes to get back, i will.

I’m sure we’ve all had trust issues in our lives. Trust takes years to build but a second to ruin it. It is very true indeed. Which is the reason why it is hard being good. As for trust issues, we keep thinking that lies always have to be the main cause for trust to be dissolved. However, most of the time, we could be doing the right thing but our actions don’t go hand in hand with our words. We can also just say it’s practising what we preach.

Let’s first establish the two: Lies Vs Inconsistency of upholding your world.
Lies are purely intentional while inconsistency is not ENTIRELY intentional which usually arises due to imperfections.

It is so important to walk the talk or rather practise what we preach, or else no one will ever believe a single word we say. However, in this imperfect world, we cannot always be so consistent. Although practising what we preach is recommended, but it is impossible to attain. Nonetheless, we still harp on the fact that we have to do what we say.

Actions do speak louder than words. Talk is cheap, we all know that. If we just talk and don’t do anything, sometimes people don’t feel that they are being valued the way you “promised” them. Disappointment can be built up from time to time which trust slowly gets sucked away. I understand that if no one is able to walk the talk, how can i always expect people to be mean what the say. The fact that everyone has flaws, you’re flawed for not meaning your words and i’m flawed for expecting too much. Let’s just say everyone ends up being at fault.

Of course things doesn’t just end there. What about trust? So what about fault? My take is that, trust is just like an immune system. We can expect it to get attacked everyday by many other factors, but when the immune system recovers and builds up, it can only get stronger. Similarly, our trust in people can come under scrutiny by others and it is a challenge to hold that much faith in someone. Failures are bound to strike but when trust gets depleted and rebuilt, the trust gets stronger. Trust is obviously not that simple to solve but the reason is always human-created. It really takes two hands to clap which is the Vitamin C to our immune system.

If you’re failed people constantly and not wanting to change, you cannot expect trust to rebuild. Similarly, if you keep being suspicious of people, you’ll never have your trust growing.

Things in life that requires two people to make it good, always only needs one person to ruin it all. Trust needs that extra effort.

If you are willing..

Cool that im currently tumblring on my iPhone! The feel of typing on ze phone is really so different from the laptop. Inspiration similarly generates slower too.

Okay anyway, I read the papers today and I saw Taylor swift’s concert article in an obscure corner of the page. Damn it was so small. And I’m wondering how on earth can those Korean superstars have a bigger and longer article about them coming! Biased! Well it was totally like a dream come through! I was ecstatic and even a $179 price tag will not deter me from buying! Yeah I know I’m typing like some English essay in secondary school, but bear with me.

Many people are wondering why am so crazy over her. Some even call it an obsession. I’ve looked back and recalled some memories… Here goes!

Back in october 2008, I was searching songs on the Internet as I was bored with the typical songs. I stumbled unto her ” love story”. Okay her voice was melodic and I felt very at ease. I went to search who she was and my oh my. Gorgeous girl who had a perfect sweet voice. Sadly she’s American and my sister’s age. Okay but in reality, I began to kinda look out for new songs. In 2008, I heard “fifteen”, “white horse”, “fearless”, “breathe”, “you belong with me” and the other tracks of her second album “fearless”. I was blown away with her talent and consistency. Most of her songs were very meaningful and kinda spoke to me. Especially breathe.

I felt Taylor’s a good artist to support thus buying her album. The only other band/artist’s album that I bought was linkin park. Many of the artists today sing good songs but how many are that consistent and nice?

To be honest, the quality of songs nowadays are going downhill. I miss the westlife, oasis and the other old songs. Now it’s all about the clubbing songs. It’s nice to hear sometimes but now it’s practically everywhere. Even in Kpop, the bands can’t just stand still and sing acoustic versions but have to dance and blast rhythms with ballads. No offence but even many Kpop fans admitted it.

To end off, check out some of Taylor swift’s fearless album songs. The concert is held on the 9th of February. If I’m not wrong, it will be nearing exams. Whatever it is, I’m going! Who else wants to come along???!

Whenever we hear or see people’s facebook or MSN’s status, we sympathise them and feel that they are emo/sad. I’m not gonna waste any time double-checking the reality of the person’s issues. Again, we give them the benefit of a doubt, they are sad people.

This is what i call the open sadness. What you see, is what you get. Sometimes it is tragic enough, but they always have friends to know about what’s going on. These people in this category complain that no one understands what they are going through. A matter of fact, NOT MANY PEOPLE will know what you are going through. However, this isn’t the greatest type of sadness. Let me introduce you readers to the greatest and the saddest type of sadness- The Ones who are there for the sad people ( Most of the time).

Usually, these people are the ones who always disregard their own misery and start helping others. Generally, people tend to think that these happy go lucky or jovial people are trouble-free. Sadly, no one is trouble-free. While the openly sad people rant about how miserable their lives are, the more optimistic people standby them and tries to cheer them up. For these optimistic people ( I shall use OP as an Abbrev cause my hands are tired), they seldom talk about the problems they have. I guess that becomes a habit after awhile. This is what i call the saddest/greatest type of sad.

I know it sounds pretty ironic that the OP are the saddest people, but unfortunately that is true. We don’t really get our problems shared cause probably no one is able to help. ( Personal opinion). I guess the reason why the OP are optimistic and rather cheerful is due to the exposure of problems. It’s like an immune system already. The whole happy and sad thing is really subjective. Maybe the OP kinda appreciates life more after already knowing the worst that life can bring. And life gets really tiring after awhile when people keep depending on you. From a kind action of cheering them up once, those openly-sad people tend to post more depressing post and stuff. (Don’t get me wrong, it’s okay to express yourself! Not insulting anyone). It can get very demanding and we should know, problems are something everyone has. We shouldn’t act as if we are competing who is the worst-off.

From there, the sadness cycle works the way it appears to be. The OP cheering up the openly-sad people, then providing the OP with some lessons in life to learn. What we don’t see, are the behind the scenes part. That’s where all the OP starts to get down. Now then, who helps them when they are sad? Most often than not, it’s mainly themselves. Good thing and a bad thing. I believe God put these OP on earth for a reason. Can you imagine the whole world ranting about their problems to each other when the other party also has other problems? It would be absolutely chaotic. Everyone needs a hero, whether we like it or not. And even heroes have the right to bleed, but they can’t show it! I’m sure we all know all these superhero problems, but i’m pretty sure in the midst of our lives today, we all have one superhero. Appreciate them

I believe life is a bed of roses. It appears nice and enticing but you won’t know until you’ve experienced it and felt the thorns. Everyone has to face it. Also, i believe life is fair, in the long run. Everyone faces different problems, some face lesser problems but could be bigger problems. We always judge with what we see, but at the end of the day, we all go back to where we belong to. And that is why life is fair. Treat it this way, life is like a large farming company. It gives you random types of land. We can get barren, fertillised, some with flowers but dead, trees and whatever combination we can think of. Our lives are like those lands. We are given and have to do with what we have. At the end of the day, you can complain why the others have it easy with certain nice flowers while you start off with one mushroom, but you still gotta return the land. Flowers, trees and whatever represent your achievements, luxuries or anything you own. Sometimes in life, we are given some luxuries that many people don’t have. What matters most is what you are gonna do about it.

Nobody can know what everyone including me is going through. But spare a thought for those people who have always been by your side. Isn’t it weird to not hear problems coming out from them? Do you feel like although your life hasn’t been perfect, why is it that your friends are always comforting you. You are not the only one going through hell. We face different stages and variations of hell. And the saddest type of sad are those who appear to be happy although they are not. Think again if life is really that tragic.

Yeah recently i’ve been living damn unhealthily. Playing civilisations 5 until 6.30am then sleep and waking up at 4pm. I was really living my life like i’m in the American timezone.

I’ve realised many things as we grow up. Of course the most obvious part is puberty itself, where you see yourself shooting up in terms of heigh, growing of hair on the pubic areas and wherever else. But the slight difference that i’ve observed with most of us is that, we tend to be more cynical as we move on. Yup the older we grow, the more events and incidents in life we observe and somehow the word ” hope” just seems to be diminishing. There are so many ways in which we are cynical and just rather doubtful.

Personally, i realise the biggest change is in love. Back in Secondary School, the guys were always targetting the hot chicks and yeah you know those crushes and stuff. But right now, maybe our hormones have kinda settled down a little more ( Doesn’t apply to some). We kinda see the importance of character more. Eye candies are probably everywhere, but everyone knows that it’s not possible to be vying for her/him unless that person is really worth it. To me, what matters most is character.

Okay.. hold your horses. I mentioned what matters MOST not ALL. So of course, looks play a part. Girls, we guys are pretty shallow in your opinion. However, doesn’t everyone want the best of both worlds. To be dead honest, i wouldn’t mine an average looking girl and average character but is willing to love me for who i am. I think that desire will just make up for everything that she lacks. The love will eventually work out. Of course a prettier girl would be good, but the standard remains. If the character is lacking, i don’t want to consider further. Why give your all to someone whom is just interested in a fling?

Alright, i’m kinda like tired of blogging now. Maybe i need a better inspiration. More suggestions on what i should i blog? It’s the same for a composition in school. The teachers give you a subject and you do it. Sometimes too much creativity and room for freedom actually limits you. Oh well, ciaos!

I know not many people like to hear the real things especially if it doesn’t sound good. But results does bring in the best and the worst in everyone.

Unfortunately, it has bring the worst in most people. For me, everyone will say i got nothing to complain. Yeah i’m not saying anything about myself. The point here is that, over results, we get so angry and upset that we start to blame people who do better than us. Maybe you don’t know it, but these people worked for it. Even in life, you hear poor people curse rich people for being rich and claim they are blessed. They rant life is unfair and so on. What they don’t really know is what problems the rich people face. Everyone has problems and life evens out at the end. Personally, why be resentful towards the rich as if they stole money from everyone? The basic fact that leads to their success is simply because they are pro active and willing to learn from their mistakes! Instead of complaining about the current predicament, why not focus on what you can do with yourself? Improve! Learn from your mistakes!

Similarly, if you score well, many people get jealous, some friends are happy for you. It’s part and parcel of life. Personally, i do get jealous at times. But always remember that, life is long enough for you make mistakes and learn. Similarly, it is short enough for you if you don’t learn those lessons fast. People just claim they want it, but are they really hungry for it? Aspirations turn into dust if you keep dreaming of it and do nothing. That’s not what people like to hear, but sadly, criticisms are beneficial for us. Failure just cannot be sugarcoated with words. It turns into another situation altogether. If you cannot accept failure in its raw form, don’t ever think of success. It won’t happen.

I may not be perfect but i just want everyone to know this. You can change everything in your life about yourself but not others. For results wise, just run your own race. Competiting is not the main issue. Cause if we are forever caught up in this endless pursuit of mindless competition, 99.9% will lose. There will be only one person being top, we have to know that. And i want people to structure their goals according to what they want to be. Run the race yourself, if university is your goal, go for it.

I understand it’s tough to not compete. Education in Singapore just forces us to blindly study and outsmart everyone. With pressure of limited jobs mounting on top of us, we find that life has no other options but study. As i’ve mentioned before, do what you really want to do. 1 life is all you got, squander it and be accountable to yourself. I’d rather be a normal person with an extraordinary life and fantastic time then to be the richest person on earth with everything he wants but nothing that he needs. Of course you can be rich and happy. Here’s the deal, if you forsake your friends just to study hard and get a good job, then maybe you’ll be successful, but life would be just financially wealthy but emotionally? Money can be earned. Knowledge makes you rich. If you can have the best of both worlds, take it!

Cliche as it sounds, life really offers nothing. Spice it up. You determine your life. And as for results, it doesn’t determine your life. It’s the mentality and tenacity that determines your success. Don’t be too overly pragmatic that you even overlook the beautiful things in life.